January 31, 2007

Absent mommy blues

The past weekend I've learnt that:

1. Washing machines operate in cryptic codes such as "A, B, C, D" with funny looking symbols that don't mean a darn thing to me;

2. Clothes ought to be separated into whites and coloured, not light-coloured and dark-coloured. Hence, sky blue socks and shirts are NOT to be washed with whites;

3. Men can be sloppy good-for-nothings who ought to be charged rent for breathing our share of the earth's air (or they ought to be banished to pluto where they will never need to lift a single finger doing housework since all their filth will be floating in the atmosphere and not stick onto floors, stoves, beds, clothes, etc);

4. Giving instructions such as "please hang the clothes out to dry" are not clear enough and should instead be rephrased as "please notice the wet clothes in the pail which I painstakingly washed the night before and did not have time to hang them out before I left for work this morning, and would thus appreciate it greatly if you could take them out, arrange them on the bamboo, and sun them OUTSIDE the home. Please note that leaving them in the kitchen will not make the clothes smell nicer or dry quicker. Please also note that clothes that were left to dry thethe day before do NOT need to be sunned again and should be taken off the bamboo and placed in the utility room. Only WET clothes, brother, WET ones.";

5. Men who say "don't worry, I'll clean up after I cook" really truly meant "don't worry, I'll do the minimal so that the place doesn't look filthy enough for you to get upset yet still require a second round of cleaning. By you, of course."; and

6. All mothers who keep the house spick and span should each be given a Nobel Peace Prize.

Boo. I want my mommy to come home so that I don't need to deal with this sloth.

Note: My mommy went on a well-deserved church trip to Israel and will be gone for 2 weeks. So meanwhile, I have to keep the house in order since my older brother happen to be an amoeba-disguised-as-a-human who only knows how to eat, defecate and sleep. Well, at least he puts his dirty clothes into the bin. There's hope :)

The part-time maid's coming on Sat! Yippeeee!


ian said...

eh.. don't stereotype... i can take care of the house all on my own while my parents are overseas. they dont notice any difference when they come back (like that time you guys came over heh heh)

and surely, something else happened beside this as well right? har har.

aBeautifulPlaceOutThere said...

ya ya babe, i agree. i want my nobel prize!!! can i? heh