November 04, 2006

Letting go

Sometimes when you hold on to a person, an idea, or an object too tightly for too long in your hand it begins to cut into your flesh. For a while you may not feel pain because you've been clutching the very item for so long you are afraid what might happen when you release it. It grows to become a part of you.

But soon God says, "Enough. Let it go. It's hurting you more than you think." You resist the idea of releasing to God. What will you do without it? What will become of you? You are too used to its existence...your identity and personality was built around it. On the other hand you recognise the changes it created in you - the jadedness, the cynicism, the inherent mistrust of people, pride, insecurity...

"I can't heal the wound if you don't let go. The cut is getting deeper by the minute. Open your hand....give it to me. And I will heal."

Slowly you convince yourself that you can't do this forever, alone. Not by your own strength and definitely not with the little faith you have. You open your hand and the object in question is handed over to the Master. The Divine Healer. The Lover of your Soul. You gawk at the mess it created - blood everywhere, numerous lacerations, pus... the Healer then goes on do His work. The wound starts to hurt and a stinging pain shoots right through your body. But that's how it has to be. "Spiritual surgery", someone told me.

"This might hurt in the beginning, but that's the only way. You didn't realise that the longer you hold on, the deeper the wound gets and it will get painful before it starts to heal. That's why you should never hold on to something you weren't meant to hold for too long. That's why I asked you to give them to me. I have your best interest at heart because I love you. I created you this way. Not to be caught up with all these worldy matters but to be with me and love me."

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No, nothing happened today or the past few days. I was just reminded about a time in my life not so long ago when I was clinging on very tightly to something that I shouldn't have. It began to choke me...but I was obsessed. I finally handed it to God after one long year(or risked facing asphyxiation in no time) and boy, did I create a mess.

But while it was ugly, there was a deep sense of release and the freedom to truly enjoy life the way God had intended it to be - abundant, joyful... zoe life! Life free from the burdens of expectations, achievements and being someone I am not.

What are you holding on today that you need to give to Jesus? Take them to the cross.

2 comments:

Plant it! said...

Thank you. Your "I have your best interest at heart because I love you. I created you this way. Not to be caught up with all these worldy matters but to be with me and love me." touched me. What am I holding onto today? *hmm*
It's probably more like a worry I am unable to let go. Why can't a loved one be more understanding and open to my needs? Why must I be very careful when I so much want to talk about Him? I yearn for an outlet.

So Whiney, I *salute* you for handing it to God to have a "no expectations" life and being yourself.

Whined said...

Well, my dear sister...don't give up! My life is far from perfect even after learning all these...sometimes I make the same mistakes by over-worrying and/or not submitting to God's will in my life. But the amazing thing is, God pursues us with such an amazing love and patience! All who seek Him will find Him!

I know your situation is tough-going and you may lose heart. But God knows every detail and He wants you to know Him more than anything else in the world! You can always talk to us if you want to talk about Him :) Meanwhile, we'll continue to pray for your family and will walk with you every step of the way. Don't be discouraged, dear Plant it! God ways are higher than ours and so in trust Him! :D Amazing things can happen.